Janice came my house without notice 2 days back; as usual
we chatted and her qn came back to me; thought about it and i guess yea its true
i think i should change at least i might be happier that way? since i was happier in the past
question is how to when im already used to this for at least a year or so?
well that will have to depend on my own self, if i am really determined to risk some things

if you cant meet people or live in a situation where it was what you had wished for or used to in the past, you just have to adapt and accept it; you'll be happier this way
now you know your friends come and go like wind; you know his promises cant be taken too seriously; you know they arent gonna come back to Singapore to join you since they left; you know...
yea i know a lot of those facts already; time to live with it without thinking too much i guess

Presentations that had been ongoing for the past few days totally sucked!
i mean we arent that prepared since we had all of them at one go day after day
most of them were out of points and we were always shot with damn ??? questions from the floor
well sians already, lucky its over le
and i didnt know without make up can make us informal for presentations too
LOL

he kept talking to me suddenly about going overseas with school; ever since i told him about me wanting to go Florida or Finland for my 5 mths attachment next year Sept.
its getting worst since now he talks about the New Zealand trip i missed in Sec3 which i was damn damn insisting on going.
yea i know you gives us whatever you could and we can just ask anything from you as long as its within your reach. i know all these
but i also know you value all the hard earned money you earned a lot
and you have lost a lot due to stocks
so i've decided not to go overseas for my attachment already; i dont even tell you about any overseas trip my course offers every now and then, even if it is gonna be cheap
i dont see the need of you agreeing then rant how ex it is and why waste money and a lot other discouraging bullshits; it always happens
its not like i didnt ask you first. i always ask if you want let me go nots, if cannot its okays.
you will agree readily and said just go sign up and you will pay; but you will keep dragging and discouraging until i will just cancel it myself in the end
it just makes me feel worst since you told me that i can go overseas every year for field trips and you will support me to go Florida to work in the Disney World for my attachment; that made me more willing to accept your choice to come SP for DTRM.
i am fine not going but it just sucks to know you can afford it but you rather chose to lose those money to stocks and not on us
you will give me more promises to make me feel better everytime i got disappointed but you will bastard them in the end; so why bother making them in the first place?
i've already stopped mentioning them so please just end it here.
stop pushing to her that she is making me not wanting to talk much to you
you just chose not to listen and carry on with your own thinkings; how am i supposed to talk to you without being sians-ed
how many times must i repeat im not angry im just DISAPPOINTED?!
how many times must i repeat i dont like to quarrel with people esp if you are of blood relation to me
how many time must i repeat i cry easily thats why i will choose to walk away when im feeling sad/angry or whatever
how many times must i repeat then you will get it and stop jumping to weird conclusions
well maybe cause you arent here like she always is due to work; thats why she can understand my every actions even without me mentioning to her before

saw Jason wearing the shirt i gave for his bdae; well wasnt as bad as he had mentioned
haha luckyyy

mm guess i might just stop trying too much liao ba, no point if its only from one side
just like it takes two hands to clap;

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