SPARTIAN <3 You!

Janice came my house without notice 2 days back; as usual
we chatted and her qn came back to me; thought about it and i guess yea its true
i think i should change at least i might be happier that way? since i was happier in the past
question is how to when im already used to this for at least a year or so?
well that will have to depend on my own self, if i am really determined to risk some things

if you cant meet people or live in a situation where it was what you had wished for or used to in the past, you just have to adapt and accept it; you'll be happier this way
now you know your friends come and go like wind; you know his promises cant be taken too seriously; you know they arent gonna come back to Singapore to join you since they left; you know...
yea i know a lot of those facts already; time to live with it without thinking too much i guess

Presentations that had been ongoing for the past few days totally sucked!
i mean we arent that prepared since we had all of them at one go day after day
most of them were out of points and we were always shot with damn ??? questions from the floor
well sians already, lucky its over le
and i didnt know without make up can make us informal for presentations too
LOL

he kept talking to me suddenly about going overseas with school; ever since i told him about me wanting to go Florida or Finland for my 5 mths attachment next year Sept.
its getting worst since now he talks about the New Zealand trip i missed in Sec3 which i was damn damn insisting on going.
yea i know you gives us whatever you could and we can just ask anything from you as long as its within your reach. i know all these
but i also know you value all the hard earned money you earned a lot
and you have lost a lot due to stocks
so i've decided not to go overseas for my attachment already; i dont even tell you about any overseas trip my course offers every now and then, even if it is gonna be cheap
i dont see the need of you agreeing then rant how ex it is and why waste money and a lot other discouraging bullshits; it always happens
its not like i didnt ask you first. i always ask if you want let me go nots, if cannot its okays.
you will agree readily and said just go sign up and you will pay; but you will keep dragging and discouraging until i will just cancel it myself in the end
it just makes me feel worst since you told me that i can go overseas every year for field trips and you will support me to go Florida to work in the Disney World for my attachment; that made me more willing to accept your choice to come SP for DTRM.
i am fine not going but it just sucks to know you can afford it but you rather chose to lose those money to stocks and not on us
you will give me more promises to make me feel better everytime i got disappointed but you will bastard them in the end; so why bother making them in the first place?
i've already stopped mentioning them so please just end it here.
stop pushing to her that she is making me not wanting to talk much to you
you just chose not to listen and carry on with your own thinkings; how am i supposed to talk to you without being sians-ed
how many times must i repeat im not angry im just DISAPPOINTED?!
how many times must i repeat i dont like to quarrel with people esp if you are of blood relation to me
how many time must i repeat i cry easily thats why i will choose to walk away when im feeling sad/angry or whatever
how many times must i repeat then you will get it and stop jumping to weird conclusions
well maybe cause you arent here like she always is due to work; thats why she can understand my every actions even without me mentioning to her before

saw Jason wearing the shirt i gave for his bdae; well wasnt as bad as he had mentioned
haha luckyyy

mm guess i might just stop trying too much liao ba, no point if its only from one side
just like it takes two hands to clap;

lalalalala show is starting~ yay

Like Nobody's Watching

Something pleasant for the eyes today

kept my mind away from it for a while, at least =)

Cocktail trials at Jol's house today; tummy abit unwell

had fun though the drinks sucks until the last part haha

Skates was fun today though little people;

learnt 2 slalom tricks under the persuarion of Wilson

urban-ed the NOOB route with Hui Lian, Darren, Wilson, Kenny, KY and Green Wheels

well was unexpectedly fun;

but it was better in the past though, hopefully it will return

Like Nobody's Watching

Sadded; its gushing back

at one go

can i really wait until after exams?

can i...

Like Nobody's Watching

Please tell me that that person Mentioned is NOT you.

short break from now
will it really help; im not sure

i only know i no longer know that person i used to know already
and its really very dissappointing

Like Nobody's Watching

he complaint i had too little time for him; for the family.

he forgot that after my 3 presentations and a practical this week i will going with your to Malaysia to celebrate Grandpa's Birthday; the time i am gonna spend with the family

he asked what's bothering me; i said but i got scoldings due to his inability to understand what im trying to convey, as usual

thats why i chose not to tell you my problems already, you hardly gets it and makes you worry for nothing? i can also predict the words you are gonna say, so why bother making things difficult?

its always like this when you are back, but when you are flying again its saddening

so many stuffs i cant wait for them to change for the better;

can we go back to where we begin? at least things were great then

Like Nobody's Watching

Bad Boy - Son Dam Bi

(Technology)
(You are my bad boy)

At the beginning, you did everything for me
You made me fall in love

You were starting to expect more thing from me

You wounded my heart

Why are you changing all of the sudden?

Can you feel my fretful mind

Your arrogant and haughty side of view

Everytime I see you saying bad things about my friend

It feels like I'm going crazy

The road we used to cross,

The words we used to say,

I want to forget the night we spent together

I have finally realized our wrongful meeting

We fought as much as we'd get sick of it,

We loved as much as we'd get tired of it,

We broke up as long as we lasted

You are a bad boy that only left me wounds

You secretly flirted with other women

behind my back, you're such a nasty fellow

Seeing you happy after our seperatation

My love is crumbling down

Why do I only have to understand you?

Why do I have to do that?

It gets harder every minute

This moment of time when my tears flows in sadness,

I feel so lonely

The road we used to cross,

The words we used to say,

I want to forget the night we spent together

I have finally realized our wrongful meeting

We fought as much as we'd get sick of it,

We loved as much as we'd get tired of it,

We broke up as long as we lasted

You are a bad boy that only left me wounds

(RAP)

Your obvious lies,

I don't know how many times that was

You whispered from my heart,

and now you're telling me to leave

I'm starting to grow grudges (boy)

I'll forget you more than once in a day

I repeat, I won't find you again, my miserable mind

Never be the same, that's right

I'm so sick of it now,

The road we used to cross,

The words we used to say,

I want to forget the night we spent together

I have finally realized our wrongful meeting

We fought as much as we'd get sick of it,

We loved as much as we'd get tired of it,

We broke up as long as we lasted

You are a bad boy that only left me wounds

ask me and i will be honest.

Like Nobody's Watching

well i've decided to delete the previous post on Issues that had arised on Monetary Issues

watched 10 Promises to my Dog with Jolene, Timothy and ZhiWei today; BOTAK sia
damn nice show, maybe cause i have a doggie too; my DEAREST ZOOPIE
therefore was kinda affected when the doggie in the show - Socks, was ignored or died
well first time man, first time i teared quite abit in movies; the DOGGIE DIED!!!
just touching you see
10 years, well Zoopie might live up to 10 years or less only too
questions floated thru my mind on what will happened if she dies too; well i will CRY LIKE MAD
thats what i replied Timothy when he asked me that qn after the show LOL
guess anyone who owns a pet will say that too =)
its like a day without her is already kinda unbearable?
to many i might seem not to treat her well but i still LOVE her loads kays
haha she is the only one i will go up to and do stupid stuffs and even talk and cry and whatsoever without much hesitation
she is so CHUBBY you can just squeeze her, so niceeeeeeeee

the movie is really nice and sweet so yea, you all should go watch it
i wont mind catching it another time yea
woots

Tomorrow's school again, a full week of Presentations and Project submissions

Like Nobody's Watching

so bored im doing quizzes at Facebook since i just started to use it abit after having it for so long?

ahhhhhh.... i want so so so so so so many stuffs but

I HAVE NO $$$$$!!!

had ALWAYS wanted a PENTHOUSE *well i have somehow stopped thinking about it for some time then smth REMINDED me of it T.T; even the name of the house is nice la, PENTHOUSE. im not sure what its really like cause i have NEVER seen one real one in my life *so sad, i want to.

well from what i've heard when i damn damn little, its a terrace like house with CONDO facilities since its the top storeys of condos ehh.. oh man i want... cause condos are TOO small for me but i love the facilities then Terrace are just nice but NO facilities!

since PENTHOUSE has the good combi isnt it GREAT?!

well even if a real PENTHOUSE isnt like this, im still in love with it cause it had been in my mind for so long already?

i shall OWN one in future or get my future husband to buy me *if i have any. LOL

<3<3

Cosmetic Surgeries:

i want to remove my fugly EYEBAGS!

it has been living with me since i was BORN?! oh man damn sadded since they are getting worst

i want to have IPL *Permanent unwanted hair removal*

dont want to life a live like a monkey man; shall go for it when im 21 years of age

Lippo; well im not fat enough for that but nvm i shall just TRY MY BEST to shed off those stupid fats and my chubby cheeks

i want a Mini Cooper or New Beetle Vox Wagon *whatever its spelt

cause they both looks like a TURTLE to me!

i want to be a successful career woman; oh man who DOESNT?!

independent and SMART maybe cunning

well im attracted to that maybe cause im totally not SUCCESSFUL, Independent and SMART

cunning, im not sure haha maybe la hor

actually maybe its cause of some things i saw since young so yea, i dont want to let monetary issues affect my stand in anything esp in relationships and i dont want to suffer in limitations and having no power in many things.

volunteer at SPCA!!!! well im still considering if i want cause i doubt i can handle those wild animals after i went there once like few years back.. damn sad can

too stupid to be a VET then too TIMID to be a SPCA volunteer

well doesnt matter i can help those poor little animals in my own mini ways? haha

for now:

i just want my touchscreen+normal keypad Sony Ericsson Mobile

some things that arent going so well to go well

some things to return back to what it was like previously

better grades

better health

......

*well this is how BORED i am these few days. wish so much also bo use if you cant make it LOL

who knows later i die early then TADA gone alreadyyyyyyyy

Like Nobody's Watching

*photos all took in a day =D

Emily, Sai and me trying out her NEW SAMSUNG during MICE tutorial, touchscreeen

well now 2unGLAMs have touch screen mobiles

Summer has LG viewty; Sai has SAMSUNG, not sure the model

*i want Sony Ericsson one!! touchscreen+normal keypad so can type faster =P

Train Journey to SHATEC with 3/4 of class =D

Summer.Sai.Emily&ME. Clockwise starting with PINK PONY SHOES

Pinched Summer's Nose and Sai Peace-ing out with her.

Summer the Sporty; Emily the Troubled?

Talk by SHATEC lecturer in SHATEC classroom for upcoming IHRO Practical at
Rosette Hotel

Summer and i doing TAKO BALLS since we are bored waiting for the 2 marvellous SHATEC students to demonstate and let us test their Cocktails for their upcoming National cocktail competition

well overall the trip to SHATEC was great and Unexpected.
1st i thought the school will be BIG and TRENDY but it turned out OLD and SMALL; blending in with the many other Factories there

students there were in white blouses and black pants/skirts; very neat and its typical attire of waiter/waitress
no wonder our ROSETTE HOTEL PRACTICAL have to wear similar attires; look professional

had a walk thru their various KITCHENS at 1st floor, was great esp the PASTRIES ones la (DAMN NICE SMELL); sad the cookies and stuffs de no students inside making le so in the end went to the cake there and had some of their freshly baked cake and cookie; tasty eh

then we headed up to their classrooms to listen to talks by BULJIT; he is still as funny and interesting as when he came for the past 2 weeks to give us lectures on some SHATEC teachings(i guess)
shocked the whole class only ZK, Shane and i (should be) had Restaurant experiences before; kinda little eh
then we were told the basics and requirements for our practical
well im RUNNER under the 4 roles (Captain,Waitress,Bartenders,Runner)
easiest but very important role based on what he said

then we went to crash one of the lesson the SHATEC students were having - COOKING PRATICAL session
got to try the crepe they made and it looked damn tempting
got use fire to light one can; damn suitable for me la since i always burn my house pots
didnt know it contained alcohol so i got a BIG PIECE and i nearly puke blood
damn damn eeew since the alcohol content kinda extreme; to me

then we headed to see the 2 excellent bartender students cut ORANGES!
oh my gosh dam delicious and SKILLED; well they represented SHATEC to come give us demonstration on COCKTAIL & MOCKTAIL making during our Lecture in SP; also winning awards in competitions
how lousy could they be?
the girl is MIXED BLOOD, pretty sia and the guy has the gift of the gap

then most of us stayed back to look at them prepare the cocktails they came up with for their upcoming competition
dranked at least 5 kinds ><
oh well not my type of drinks since i could taste alcohol though the content damn damn little
but well i just love to try and it doesnt hurts =P
that JOLENE damn GREEDY la, *dont kill me you ass
nice to see them make la, looks so nice but i prefer HUA SHI BARTENDERS *they do stunts when making drinks
well feel like learning; can make for others though i dont really like to drink ma right
haha~

home sweet home from Bukit Batok MRT aftermath with Emily and Louisa; Easterners
anxious bout the REAL Practical since the 01 screwed up but 02 did damn damn hell well
ZzzzZzzz

Jiayou ba Runner; grow up and stop being so clumsy and slow

esp when you are the only one in the group with Restaurant Experience

and Runner is the SIMPLIEST Job with no responsibility le;

still cock up, loser already man

Like Nobody's Watching

Sai, Emily and I during MICE tutorial with Mr. CHIH WEE (whatever its spelt)

Outside MLT9 waiting; Veron and i....

FC6; laming with Summer after our BRUNCH

unGLAMs doing wire figurings at Skates Clubroom for IHRO Practical

*paiseh, damn tired =P

Cube in front of T15 *i guess; lazing around with Summer

then we headed to MLT9 for lesson; too early therefore its EMPTY!

smallest VS Biggest

*somemore.......

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FMAH CA2 scored 30 marks i heard

wow 30 marks above my expected results

LOL

retest retest retest Z.z

nicest of all, the 3 of us going for retest are the only 3 who scored below 2 for GPA LOL

same boat la

GEMs test was funny la, did in groups and can check online for notes

but the QN difficult sia

maybe tmr i will upload photos since i guess im gonna be bored

no life

seeing light; or not

Like Nobody's Watching

think im going to get a ZERO for my FMAH CA2 that i just took this evening

didnt study cause i overslept

just did abit of reading before the test during break after PROJECT

why they school doenst know how to organize timetables

ALWAYS; PROJECT DEADLINES and TESTS

COLLIDES!!!

wth, we arent robots

i think i might not even have enough formal wear to last for those presentations next week la

lousy planners!

well i cant concentrate to study so blame myself ba

as usual

it wasnt a difficult paper but just that i didnt study WELL, arggg

always like this la

well my paper is damn red also cause my red pen somehow leaked inside my pencil case

and it was flowing all over my pencil cause!!!

bo bian have to wipe the calculator clean first cause it wasnt mine;

borrowed from Jabez, thanks eh =)

and my hand became so RED! then no place to wipe; i wipe at the last page of my answer sheet

LOL now it looks like answer shit la

well at least its clean le, together with the pen i used during test

others all still eeeeewwww

the tutor just stared at me RED hand when i was signing my attendance

LOL damn funny la seriously

think too clumsy then it BROKE z.Z

well EMILY, i posted; upon request heex

im so nice i know!

lalalalala

missed the chance already ba

so many doubts

tired and sick

Like Nobody's Watching

most of my friends said i have no temper; i have cause im also a human

well just that i dont really lose it in front of the involved parties

i dont see the need to create unneccessary troubles; and im lousy at words esp when im angry

plus i tear damn easily

just cause i dont show it doesnt mean im fine with it; i just choose to bear with it

this sometimes cause people to get overboard; and it makes me fucking upset

yea Jol always tell me to let it out str. but i cant; im just not used to it

well even if i wanted to, i cant find any reason to right after i want to let it out

i will start blaming myself, in the end i ended up only emo-ing instead of angry

well thats what im stuck with i guess; there will be people who will know their limits i guess

though most of the time when im pissed is those whom i cared who caused it.

well im gonna back out for some time; maybe this will also mean losing this friendship i treasure for good

its not like there's any thing i can do since you just chose to SHUT DOWN

and i dont want to be too irritating and end up messing everything up

time will tell.

SHATEC field trip was FUN =)))

Like Nobody's Watching

Yolanda
Gender: Feminine
Usage: Spanish, English
Pronounced: yo-LAHN-də (English)

From the medieval French name Yolande, which was probably a form of the name Violante, which was itself a derivative of Latin viola "violet". Alternatively it could be of Germanic origin.
This name was borne by a 12th-century empress of the Latin Empire in Constantinople, who was originally from Flanders.
It was also used by her descendents in the royal families of Hungary (spelled Jolánta) and Spain (sometimes spelled Violante). Another famous bearer was a 13th-century countess of Vianden in Luxembourg who joined a convent against her parents' wishes, later becoming the subject of medieval legend.

Source: http://www.behindthename.com/name/yolanda

*well that was smth interesting but why NUN?!
LOL

School today:

Summer bought a new sketch book; chio black one from SP Popular
Sai, Emily and me were given the priviledge to DRAW in it; woots desginers
1st page mainly done by Sai and Emi was damn nice;
Summer suddenly asked me to do ONE FULL PAGE for her; shocked but i agreed
ended up it was damn ugly; well i cant draw but Summer thought i could since she said i could write nice words =P
my beloved Banana Split, Hair Pins, Sexy Shirt, Tornado, etc etc were CRITISIZED until so jia lat
T.T i thought so chio can, wth....
well it was given to Emi to salvage it since Sai was somehow not that trustable after the FUGLY girl she drew with me from my Sexy Shirt LOL
DAMN FUNNY
*well have a picture of it, shall upload afte that lazy Sai send me

Bloghopping during RWPS was HILARIOUS
the tutor damn nice; SP should have more tutors like him!

oh well i still think my banana split drawing is artistic la but why everytime i show people they will =.=
wah lao; no matter thru msn or paper =\

oh man SUMMER JUST SHOWED ME A PART OF BIG BANG'S NEW MV...
WOOOO LETS GO WATCH IT!

Like Nobody's Watching

just cause i didnt show my angry and dissappointment everytime such stuffs happened

to prevent complications and i dont like to;

even if i want to, they go off too fast

your thought it was all right

well i'm human; i have feelings too

since i treasure your as my friends, it makes me feel worst

all those unintentioned actions; i suppose

yea maybe im being unreasonable or whatever, but everyone has different limits

well now the anger and disappointment is gone

as usual

sudden and fast.

My enlistment is settled; well they still need a form from me

before im totally deferred

so yea; im almost there

thanks my dears; for being there

Like Nobody's Watching

sometimes i hope i know lesser;

ignorance is bliss

Like Nobody's Watching

BLOG-HOPPING

#1. the world or maybe SP is darn small; Emily, Louisa & i found out at SB Library

many of the people we know are INTER-LINKED

#2. found a damn sweet couple; Jolene Agrees too

well reading it makes you feel damn envious and feel damn sweet for them

#3. passing by people who's blog i've hopped to feels funny

#4. some things are really interesting in other people' life; no matter good or bad

#5. can understand some things more

many many more.... etc

Like Nobody's Watching

just received the letter sent by my dearest Yunting from Taiwan

well she's in NewZealand; in her new school already

so sweet of her, as usual =)

really brighten up my day seeing that letter

well it had lotsa stamps attached to it, looked so nice!

miss her and many others who arent near me; well who doesnt miss their friends who arent near them

well i also miss those near me who had drifted or changed for whatever reasons

Like Nobody's Watching

Imran told me true friends will be able to go thru time and issues; so yea i shall wait

its still gonna be up there; since im not gonna give it up yet; so prove to me im not wrong in my decision

did something damn embarrassing with Jolene during our solo urban trip to let loose

shocked reading those but well if thats what you think i cant change it also; just move on without arguements ba

i wish everything will be well for us =)

Like Nobody's Watching

Green was down already some time ago

now its time to decide should the Orange be put down too

same repeating cycle

over and over again

Like Nobody's Watching

you made it sound like its all my fault

if i could read malay then i cant say anything; but the fact is i dont understand or speak a single part of malay in my whole life

how could i suddenly be able to

does that enlistment letter gives me power to understand malay in one night with the surprise it gave me?

no right?

then why push all the blame to me

i did what you all said; get the letter from office and sent it

filled up those malay forms you all guided me; so whats wrong?

oh well so many people got deferred but not me so im suay lo

getting those remarks from you all just makes me suay-er

.Just cause i couldnt keep track of if via its website.

doesnt matter;
2 weeks for around 4 projects to do and FMAH 20% test next week
gonna fail again since its ACCTOUNTS based, arggg
i have no motivation as usual to start
so i have no time to bother about that army shit
blame all you want

Like Nobody's Watching

TBR tutorial early in the morn; so boring
Summer requested for a comment spam of 10;

screenshot of what happened during the Spam

commented too fast; =.=

part 1 of spam

Part 2 of spam

Influence of IHRO practical project; love Absolut Vodka packages

but their taste doesnt appeals since alcohols are so not appealing; at least to me

Wine glasses are chio too =)

Some photos during classes some days ago; well there are more with Sai and Summer

waiting for them to send =)

*photos taking last Thursday; that explains the formal attires since its the usual FORMAL day of the week

Like Nobody's Watching

the answer is clear now i guess

IF you were trying to hint me the past few weeks; you may stop now

Rachel called me just now; finally after so long =)

finally back to normal =)

Like Nobody's Watching

boring

Summer is insane beside me
placing a singpost receipt on my laptop screen; trying to wipe my beloved screen clean
well it failed cause its already clean and i feel obstructed by her hand swinging non-stop in front of me with that receipt.
she thinks its funny; hahahaha
and Sai is laughing for god knows what reason beside me.

Now Summer is playing with Emily's bag.
Emily just whacked her damn hard; leaving her to whine in pain
guess she's back to earth already;
now she's back to normal and Sai is tired.
Emily is playing Viwawa; im Bored
Sai says Sai is not pleasing to the ear; well thats why it suits her LOL;
hor Louisa the Sai Sai

well we are having MICE lecture with chih wee now;
how entertaining

well you see we are all so bored.

Like Nobody's Watching

i feel old.

i feel older than old.

i dislike visiting the doctor

i hate visiting the hospitals; clinics; pharmacies....

i hate whatever those doctors and nurses say

i hate to think about the things that might happen in future if i dont take care from the doctors' mouth; its all just bullshit and i feel so cheated everytime

i hate to feel scared

i hate it when i have to crouch somewhere and shiver in pain

i hate it when i seem weak to others

i hate it when my loved ones worry; esp my mum

i hate it when you doctors can only tell me its getting worst but say there's nth much you all can do but still ask me to go back

i hate it that i cant run now

i hate you for making me have limitations in so many things

i hate you for being weak

i hate you for those days i quarrelled to continue and caused those who cared for me to be in tears

i wonder if i made a right decision not going for an op for my back
i wonder if my knee is really like what you said, out and will never go back

well they seem fine; just occassionally aching for whatever reasons i dont know
its gets more and more regular these days

maybe i just want to push the blame to something else and you two are the best choice; since you two are feeling unwell due to the lack of calcium and my sturbornness

a healthier body is all i wish for since the age of 4 after my first teeth op. but why is it it never ends.
i still wonder if the virus has gone; the doctors didnt even give me a reply though i paid a bomb for only 2 nights there =.=

cant blame me for not being able to trust doctors; they always never seem to give me a solution.
maybe im asking for too much

well as usual life goes on; i wont give a damn to those pain
precautions? they only make my life more sians

my own faults yea? well most people arent obedient to do things that are good for them anyways
yea its my own faults to have all those injuries but if im not borned lacked of calcium all these would have been minimized?
and what about the weak immune system?

maybe i should have been the miscarriaged child and another member could have survived

...just venting...

well im still a very lucky person =)
just being uncontented with minor stuffs occassionally
maybe due to the pains acting up

think about those in Africa; there are so many people suffering
Lifes always like this;
accepting it

Like Nobody's Watching

first time i wipe clean my problematic laptop; though its been with me since i entered SP =P
well it looks CLEAN now; at least to me since i havent seen it clean for damn damn long
its so clean la; oh man

we are all tired, maybe even unwell;
projects; school work; conflicts; personal problems...
just the load of it on each individual
well there's always a way out and rainbow after rain

IHRO project seems abit scary now from what Dawn and Shane said
DTRM01 scored kinda badly cause their attire were not proper; service wasnt that good; and some other cocked up stuffs during their practical at Rosette Hotel last week
well its our turn in 2 weeks time (i guess)
our materials are mostly bought already; and we even got Ivan's help with the iron figurings
damn grateful, he even accompanied Veron and i to Clementi to get the wires =)
well guess we will be spending a lot of time during breaks and after school at club room to do those figurings and other statues for your centre piece
hope i wont cock up being a runner =X
guess everyone is abit sians about the hair we have to style - NEAT AND ALL DRAWN BACK
oh man can you imagine how kuku we are gonna look like?!
well at least for me im gonna look so hell ROUND AND FAT
make up wise will be mild pink for everyone to match our restaurant theme *forgot already but its related to butterflies

hope everything will be going on well for you my Friend; just smile more =)
for you, i hope we will be back to those old days where there were no worries of such

Thank you my friends =)

Like Nobody's Watching

im shocked reading my tagboard; Thanks a lot my friends =D

flu and cough bugs are visiting already; sleepless nights tires me like hell
my eyes are swollen too i guess
but its nth compared to yours

im nervous over some reason i cant sleep until now;

courage.

Like Nobody's Watching

we have so much conflicting ideas and thinkings
the ways we do and think things are so so different
i thought you knew why things turned out this way
i thought i chose the right decision to let you chill with someone i thought was more understanding than me

i dont know what im supposed to do already since no matter i initiate or back out
i dont seem to make you happy or cheer you up

i dont own good caring skills like you or most people do; i thought you knew
i thought....

well will we get thru this time round?

Like Nobody's Watching

crying doesnt solve the problem; it always doesnt
but why do i always end up doing this kinda useless emo shit?
i feel fucking useless whenever this happens; but i cant control/stop it?
i didnt know im such a useless and irritating friend to you
yea im always not there; im always too slow too stupid to sense things
even if you told me
i tried in MY WAYS to show concern and care but they were never enough
then i slowly stopped but it ended up worst
so well its all my stupidity that caused all this fucked up situation
i dont like this; i thought it was smth that could last long; we will chat anything under the sun without stress; go to work in the same place in future and stuffs
but i guess we cant even maintain a stable friendship now
its always happening; why is it like this?!
well heaven tell me what is wrong; what is missing?????
moving forward isnt right so is moving backwards
why dont you give me other talents other than crying?!
im totally out of words; as usual i DONT KNOW how to express myself
thats why i hate quarrels
now i cant even find the faults in our messs. what is it that is lacking?!!!!!
just what the hell is it?!
im so tired already, going to school and mixing with my darling merrry friends and merrying happy with them most of the time; but when im alone i get all these shit feelings
just because i became a coward for not being able to go up to try new methods to show my care and concerns im being punished
i see this as a retribution yea
well im not sure what im talking about now also im just trying to vent things out
maybe i will regret it once i finished writing this, it always happens
i really hate poly life. i thought i came here it would be fun fun fun
like what my buddies whom left overseas told me; i will be able to get new friends like them here
but i cant; life gets worst and worst; yea i have good and nice friends
esp her
but i always chase her off; i always piss her off?
im lonely; im helpless too
but to many i am not; maybe cause of what i look on the outside?
i even dont feel like mixing with new people more and more already
maybe in case i chase people off again?
i thought friendship was smth simple all along
guess i was wrong?
everytime you all come back you all will listen to me, help me, play with me
make my day no matter what we do
we dont quarrel, we dont cold wars
why is it happening so often in poly?
is it cause without you all i became stupider?
i really miss you all but you all are all so far away. even those left in spore we are not near too
though recently we chatted a lot via sms-es
there's still a difference there.
our common links are that we 3 have equally lousy results in our different schools
LOL thats really funny la...

well when will this end? i am very sorry
but you hate to hear that word
im out of words; im out of ways
maybe you will be better without me messing up your life by your side?

well daddy i suddenly feel like going to army

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JUMBO at Serangoon area; not really sure the place
but there are many many BEAUTIFUL Bungalows!
then dessert at City Hall
damn full; but it was nice la
Sister's Bdae celebration with family yesterday~

still waiting man; seems like it occurs every single day now
so draggy
wonder what really went wrong to cause this drift; maybe its all just me
well guess waiting is the only choice ba

disagreements always occurs btw peoples
but too much builds many invisible walls; thick or thin
maybe there are ways maybe there arent

Like Nobody's Watching

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DARLING SISTER!!!!!

ESTRINA TAN WEI LING
well 14 years old already, grown up le

may you get prettier and prettier everyday

love ya!

<3<3

my nails looks so darn clean after shower!!!!
tired after skating the night out and being kinda unwell for a few days in a row; my back ache is killing me sooner or later
i have still yet to find out the bloody reason but a fact is i have a damn old physical; told by Summer
well seems like getting sick and aches every now and then is a daily stuff for me until its like i have this constant sick look on my face everyday
people are telling me to put make up already; how sad can that be
well Athletics days were only the days i looked radiant and healthy i guess
and i had a damn damn fulfilling life? at least i had smth to look forward and work towards to
i even had my sec school buddies by my side
well everything crashed when i stopped running and you left too
well happiness always doesnt last la; the sweeter it is, the shorter it will last and they was partially my faults too so i can only blame myself yea

until now its still occassionally coming back; the thoughts of running again
about you, its over since i entered poly; like finally after 1 year plus of misery cause it was a new life for me and i was away from everyone and everything; seemingly alone in the west for a new start?
well the impact is still there, but it doesnt really matter already just that i have to be more able to trust again?

last week went shopping with Rachel and bought a tube top and a dress from Miss Selfedge or whatever it is spelt. love them =)
yday went Suntec with unGLAMs and i also found many clothes i like; so yea maybe im getting back to buying clothes based on what i really like; like finally
finally i get this feeling back after so long ehh? good sign i guess; well need to save up already
who knows it might fade off again and i will still remain the normal self i am since i entered poly LOL
Rachel was really sweet to kept consoling me and irritated about the fact i am so affected by those words that made me almost zero confidence
Jolene too
thanks ah girls; well i will try to change that attitude yea; but some facts are still unchangeable i guess

well wonder if it was a good day yesterday or a bad one.
too tired to think also already; just like what Imran told me - wait and slowly see ba, things will be back to normal soon
i really do hope so cause i dont like the way things are now;
pleasant things+not-so-pleasant ones

well my Acid toe is still kinda not there, damn sians
but will try my best ba and know where my limit is; since my body really cannot tahan already
for future sakes LOL
and those banging of walls really arggg man cause its so loud and embarrassing
its not painful but its just too loud; maybe my blades will feel pain? LOL
lucky i have my shi fu *Jeremy to help me PATIENTLY! =)
well maybe its time for more basics trainings soon...
main reason:
few injuries from the banging into people while skating; Shi fu and a random freshie
cant belived i flew back twice la
im too noob to even hold my foot.

Like Nobody's Watching